the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
