Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
