Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We just shotgunned beers for America
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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