I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
50% drunk capacity currently
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
