to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
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My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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