It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
