he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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