haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
