Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
