bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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