Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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