i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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