he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
