It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
