didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he puts the penis in happiness.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
