do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
