i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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