We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
