sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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