Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
