Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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