TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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