my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
