trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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