Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
And then he peed in my hair
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