I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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