I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
