people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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