I think scott just propositioned me for sex
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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