let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
