He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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