Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
