Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
