Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
