they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
