2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I got chris browned last night
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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