I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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