I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize