i think my tv is drunk
Duck Duck Cougar?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
