He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
