oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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