Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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