HIV tests are more positive than that guy
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
