Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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