I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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