You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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