she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I touched a dick in church today
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
