if you like me you must not know who I am
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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