How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
