at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
