Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
