u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
