Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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