Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
