I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
