If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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