What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
