Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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