She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
