All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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